Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
