question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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