the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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