3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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