we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The air was thick with penises
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
