so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
