he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
time to smoke my breakfast
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
