No stitches, just platelets and will power
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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