That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no, he came in my armpit
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't deserve a penis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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