How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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