Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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