fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
