I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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