No stitches, just platelets and will power
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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