I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
