she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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