I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
