dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Buhtt sex?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
