i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize