"it" just moved
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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