we're blogging at a bar
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
