Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
