Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
