im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
