saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
