Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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