I understand Curling. That high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
