it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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