I am puke
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
