Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
