We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
