even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
