The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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