How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize