I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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