i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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