Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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