ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
