Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
