After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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