apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
