Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
