Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize