Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.