yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
