so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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