I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
