The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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