before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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