Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
