you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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