um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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