don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
