Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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