So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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