Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
