I smell stomach acid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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