Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize