I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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