If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
