Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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