why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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