Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
