you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
