I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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