haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
