im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
