i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize