considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
