Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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